11-30-07

i have always had a bad habit of looking down. some blame it on bad posture. some say you look down because you don't like looking at the world around you. i think the second one is a little more accurate. i would constantly look up if i could, but that would make walking almost impossible, well, without running into something at least. to this day, if i ever catch myself looking towards the ground, and i'm not on my phone, i make it a point to look up and around. even if i end up putting it back down again, at least i have some knowledge of my surroundings.

its been a weird couple of days. you sort have to really know me to understand why. i don't do break ups well. it doesn't matter how long or short the relationship is. i get hurt really easily. can't help it. but its so different this time. i haven't cried once. and to be honest, i can't even tell you if i will(can). she seems upset, but its hard to tell. she's isn't very open with her emotions like i am. i tried to tell her to not even worry about me. there are things going on in her life far more important than me. im not selfish, at least i hope im not. part of me wants some kind of resolution, closure i guess. but i don't think ill ever get it out of her. i don't know if this is forever. i guess time will tell me that one.

as of right now, im just counting down the days until next Friday.


oh, by the way, Happy Eleven Months, Bright Eyes.